My (late) journey into Self Reliance.

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My (late) journey into Self Reliance.

In 1994, I made a dumb choice to move away from my family, friends, and job to move closer to a a girl I was dating in Oklahoma City.  Long story short, we broke up and I was at a crossroads.  Do I move back home or do I stay?

Up until this point, my grandmother had always bailed me out of trouble.  Whenever I made a stupid decision, she was there to protect me from the consequences.  Let me tell you, I made a lot of stupid decisions.  Now my grandmother was on the phone, offering me a place to live, three hot meals a day, and free laundry- If I just moved back to Dallas.

My dream of being a martial arts instructor and owning a school, was always set back by the obstacles and challenges I faced.  I was always told that I could accomplish anything I wanted in life, but it reality didn’t seem to add up to my vision.  The problem was, I was never allowed to fail.  I was never allowed to suffer the consequences of my actions, or worse, my inactions.When I screwed up, my grandmother fixed it- she made it all better.  So I always gave up when things got hard.

I was disgusted with myself.  I was tired of being THAT guy!  I made a decision to stay and pursue my dream.  It was difficult.  I made many mistakes.  I was broke, with know friends, no money, and no clear path on how I would make it.

I had to earn my own trust and learn what it really means to believe in myself.

This is when I really started to apply the principals that I learned in martial arts.  The biggest obstacle to self reliance is not self doubt.  With the absence of self trust, fear takes it’s place along with complacency, and mediocrity.  Martial arts taught me that my biggest enemy is me.

I had to earn my own trust and learn what it really means to believe in myself.  I had to learn how to learn from my mistakes.  I had to learn how to quit making excuses. I had to learn how take personal responsibility and be accountable.

I learned all these lessons growing up, but they were never fully tested.  I realized I can be anything I want to be, as long as I am willing to do the work, and make the sacrifices required.  I learned I can accomplish great things as long as I am willing to do the menial tasks with the same fervor.  Mostly I learned, that I can not be the person I want to be until I change the person I am now.